I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
There's even glitter on my cock...
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