You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
