I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
