I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think I am morally bankrupt
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
well, you know. whores of a feather.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize