We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize