Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
