So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
