i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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