i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
