fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize