I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am naked and annoyed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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