as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
