and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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