I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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