"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
