she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize