Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Reggie can tackle my bush.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
