The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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