What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
