totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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