You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
