Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
