the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
