I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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