But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
