Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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