what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
