We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
