Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Vodka?
Forever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
