I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
