He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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