I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
