i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
