I need help removing her.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
