i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
