Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
