Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
