I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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