I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
