there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just found puke in my bra..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
