I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
