you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
