he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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