At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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