Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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