if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
