What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize