hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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