how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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