What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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