Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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