I think i peed on brittanys purse
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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