Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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