okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
