Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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