The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
