I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
