i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
