Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize