I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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