with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
