I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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